Funny Jesus, Funny Jokes

Follow

( 0 Followers )

X

Follow

E-mail : *

Follow Unfollow

Good morning and Haooy last Sunday to you all.
No, sir.
Why do you say NO?
It’s not yet ENDTIME, sir. Moreover, no matter how hard the economic situation in the country nobody is ready to die yet.
What gives you the impression that I want you to kpai just like that?
But na you dey wish us happy LAST Sunday nah. Which kind death wish be that? We pray for many many more Sundays to come whether happy or sad. Sunday na Sunday.

O I seeee! I did not mean that. What I actually meant was HAPPY LAST SUNDAY OF THE MONTH OF OCTOBER. How can I say happy LAST Sunday when me I no be God. I dey craze? Abi na craze dey craze me?
But as for me I know it is not unlike you to deliberately say something like that to provoke laughter. I know you before before…
Really? That will be suicidal because jokes on the canvas of religion are often misrepresented as portraits of the Supreme Deity as an imperfect God, which is not the case. Religious jokes are received or rejected on the basis of ethical and moral decency.
For instance, there are jokes about Jesus and Mohammed all over the internet but as it is not unusual you have the good, the bad and the ugly. Today we shall limit ourselves to some clean and respectful jokes about Jesus.
You don’t mean it! Do you? That we can pull the legs of our Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth and Nassarawa? O god of Orunmila!
Shut up your fetish mouth! Have you forgotten we are in Sunday School?
Sorry, sir! I thought you said we can pull the legs of anybody to crack jokes.
No, I didn’t mean it that way. What I meant is that we could turn things around by making mountains out of ordinary molehills.

Like what, like what?
For instance, there is nothing wrong with saying Jesus had to go to the hospital in GAZA yesterday because he was feeling a little crucified. Or that he was kicked out of an OWAMBE party in Isale Eko because he just kept turning all the water into wine and everybody was getting drunk.
More…Akiika.
Let me test your understanding a little bit. How do you think Jesus would respond to an invitation to HANG out with you and your friends.
Probably he would say he doesn’t want to suffer a prolonged hangover after a binge.
Well, so so. But how about Jesus declining by saying, “once hanged, twice shy”?
That will be very clever of him. It is he who feels it that knows it. To be hanged on the cross no be “moin moin”.
Even if it is, it will be a very unpalatable, spicy one.
Sir, is it true that Jesus wanted us to be fishers of men if we follow him from Ikale to Ilaje?
Whaaat! Translate yourself. Cos there is nowhere in the scriptures that you have mention of Ikale and Ilaje.
That’s true. But metaphorically speaking I was just drawing a parallel between the upland area and the lowland seashore.
Marvelous! Now what is your question?
Thank you. Simple one. What exactly did Jesus say to the fisherman and what did he mean?
‘You are hooked on FAITH”. Meaning faith and belief are two extremely strong passions that could make one do and undo the imaginable and the unimaginable things. Lighthearted jokes about religion are fair when clean and respectful BUT foul when they are dirty and disrespectful. However, whatever be the case let us always show restraint when we want to make secular jokes be it in Christendom or “Muslimdom”. Or else you may unwittingly be creating opportunities for WILD CHRISTIANS and JIHADIST MUSLIMS to call for arms in ‘defence’ of the FAITH because of a less edifying joke or cartoon. Reason must prevail.
Sir, not when followers and adherents are heavily drunk on the OGOGORO of religion.
Well said. Bless you. Bless Sunday School.